Christmas in October

Ok so I've never celebrated Christmas.. That doesn't preclude me from knowing the feeling of waiting... The delicious anticipation that inevitably leads to something awesome.. A box that, when opened, sprays showers of light and hope and promise and childhood dreams-come-true...(unless it's pajamas or a new coat)..
But back to the waiting.. I sat at home today pacing with the nervous energy of a soon-to-be-first-time-dad...(wait.. They don't pace anymore.. That was only in "I love Lucy." Now they're too busy tending to bruised upper arms inflicted by the sharp kicks of a labor-transitioning wife.. Or their bruised egos inflicted by same by spewing degrading epithets...usually referring to their masculinity or lack thereof) but I digress...
I'm waiting for a box from fed-ex. One which contains the most lovely of gifts.. Namely, the two-week old purse I left on the beach in Atlantic City some two months ago.. Yes.. Some good Samaritan had the decency to turn it in at the famed Steel Pier. Ahhhh the Steel Pier.. It's a legend.. It's a study in true Atlantic City lore.. It's a lovely walk down a soft
and hazy path of days-gone-by memories.
And it's closed.
For the Winter.
I find this out when I receive a brief but informative note in the kind of obedient cursive that your third grade teacher had. The one you could never seem to master. "I have found your handbag. I found your address in your purse. We are closing for the winter. Please call when you get this note." Well, ya see..... not only does anyone who writes like that not have any idea that there's google, and you can find Angelina Jolie's home phone number if you really want to, and probably even give a prank call to little Shiloh Jolie-Pitt or one of her less western-looking siblings, but he/she definitely doesn't know how to navigate the treacheous waters of overnight delivery !! I manage to catch someone who happens to be in the office just closing out payroll and I shamelessly beg her to just wait for a FedEx guy and drop my purse in his box.So I beg and plead.. Mr FedEx man..please!!! Can you just show up at the Steel Pier offices with one of your handydandy labels and one of your handydandy boxes and bring me back my beloved fringe calfskin purse?? Yes, he says, and like the proverbial knight in shining box truck, he arrives at 3:00. With the box. With my purse and everything in it. No worse for the wear... It had one teeny weeny little speck of seagull doody on the strap which I promptly wiped away.. But it was otherwise pristine.
 And so ends the waiting.. And I couldn't have been happier if I had opened my gift that Christmas morning to find a huge diamond ring..
(well..... wait a second....... How huge we talkin'?)